Vacation Comedy -The Funniest Vacation Stories

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Do You Have A Vacation Comedy Story That's funny?

If So, Now's your Chance To Let Everyone Know Just what Happened.

CAMPING STORY...

A few years back I went on vacation with the family. We were in a very very small travel trailer that looked something like the one that Goofy pulls behind his car in the Disney cartoon.

Anyway, it was late and I was tired of driving, I happened to see a large parking lot that was vacant and decided to pull in and set up camp for the night.

It was a Saturday night and I figured that what ever parking lot and building this was, no one would be using it on Sunday morning. So, I parked and unhooked the trailer and set up camp. By morning I had all the camping gadgets set up, gas grill, lawn chairs, trash can ect.

However, at about 10.30am, a line of cars started to poor into the parking lot and people dressed up in tuxedos and long dresses began to get out and walk right next to my camp and enter the front door of the building that I was parked right in front of.

Out of all the times and all the places, I happened to set up camp in front of the main entrance for a high school graduation!

As the graduates, family and guest passed by my camp site I remember asking one of them as they passed by if they knew "what day does the trash get picked from here"!

It's a true story.

E. Kasikantiris

A True Story.

I was working at a counter in Branson Mo. selling tickets to tourist. One day an older lady was walking by and I asked if I could help her with some tickets, she said ‘no thank you, I’m off to see Elvis, Pasty Cline and Hank Williams’. I said to the lady, “where you going to a seance?”

by, E. Kasikantiris

Why Are You Here?

A couple walked into a Branson Time Share Presentation at their scheduled time. They both looked around as if something was out of place. I walked up and asked if I could help them.

They turned to me and said, “some guy at the tourist information center said that we were guaranteed 2 nights of Free lodging, if we came and listened to a comedian for 90 minutes, supposedly right here.

I told them to have a seat and that the show would be starting soon…

Mark K

hitchhikers

Here you can see a couple of Branson Performers trying to get a ride to their theater.

Hope their not late for the show...

Not to long ago I was visiting with some folks from Missouri and Arkansas, during our conversation many times they talked about "Allah's" return and his desire to get to know me.

For example, When I was getting gas at local Ar. station, I asked the gas attendant to check the oil, he said "allah" check it later.

One couple from Missouri said to me when I was leaving the grocery store that, "allah" catch ya later.

One day I was stuck in traffic on the 76 Branson strip, a guy walked by and I asked him whats the hold up? He said he didn't know but "allah" be back...NOTE: When visiting Arkansas or Missouri, Bring a Turban. man__turban

Call A Scientist

I was in Arkansas last week and happened to see a front page article with headlines that read, " Where Are The Whales". At first I thought that the story was another tragic tale about extinction and the effects of global warming. But instead, it was a story about two whales who got caught in a U.S. bay.

Right below the headlines "Where Are The Whales" there was a picture of two older people with binoculars against their eyes, looking out into the bay area.

Come to find out, the whales were no longer in the bay because "Scientist have conclude that the whales must of swam back out to sea."

Where else would the whales of gone? They surely didn't Fly out of the bay, or stand up on their two back fins and walk out.

That's like having a bird caught in your chimney one day and the next day its gone. Should we Call A Scientist ?

A Nun Meets An Atheist...

NOT A VACATION STORY, BUT FUNNY...

An old man walks into the local Catholic Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money. "
"I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

MISSOURI JOKES

The owner of a golf course in Missouri was confused about paying an invoice,
so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her
into his office and said, "You graduated from Mizzou and I need
some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you
take off?" The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."
You gotta love those Missouri women.

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A group of Missouri friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the
day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the
weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had
a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the
successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the
deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal
Henry!"

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A senior at Missouri was overheard saying.. "When the end of the world
comes, I hope to be in Missouri."
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Missouri because everything
happens in Missouri 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

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The young man from Missouri came running into the store and said to his
buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?
"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

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NEWS FLASH! - Missouri's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater
Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Mizzou students, crashed into a
cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies
so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.

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A Missouri State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-44. The trooper asked,
"Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

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A man in Missouri had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he
drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the
fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the
front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."

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MY LIVING WILL

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my beer.
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This is an Open Forum For The Funniest Vacation Stories That Happen To People On Vacation!

If you've ever been on vacation you can probable remember some funny episode that happened to you or some one you know who was there on vacation with you.

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In this Comedy Vacation Forum you have the ability to share your funniest stories about your vacation splendor or disaster. As long as it's a funny story about some vacation event, you will be able to post it in our FREE Forum and let others benefit from the humor.

Sit back, and think back on all the funniest times you had on vacation with your family, friends or individuals, pick your favorite comedy event and then please share it with us.

If you cant think of any funny vacation stories or travel events, take a look at what has happened to others on their vacation and have a good laugh on them.

Global Warming, CLICK

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